Know Before You Go or Crisis Porcelainis.

What is it about public toilets in Europe? They’re an absolute pain in the arse (pardon the pun).

Now I know some of you after reading this will be thinking Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but my life to date has tended to revolve around easy access to toilets without really having to think too much about it.

Living in one of the great coffee capitals of the world and of Mediterranean heritage I drink A LOT of coffee, which of course means I need to wee a lot. Some in my family also think of me as a champion poo-er – a Mr Pooalot if you like. These days I don’t leave the house in the morning until after second poo, and when I worked corporate I had the timing on the 45 minute commute down pat – smack bang in-between Torpedos 1 & 2.

The Romans Would Be So Disappointed

Toilets in Europe just don’t work for my normal schedule.
And for a civilised, first-world society that’s thousands of years old, I just don’t get it. I mean the Romans were supposedly big into plumbing, toilets and public amenities, and that was years ago, so how can things have not gotten better from there?

The Great European Toilet Hunt vs Pay to Spray

Firstly in most of the places we visited in Europe, there just weren’t many toilets in public places, and they were shockingly hard to find. Directional signage is almost non-existent.

And then when you do find them, you’ve got to pay to use them. Usually around €1. There’s usually someone sitting at the door to collect your Euro, and in our increasingly cashless society if you don’t have the coin… if you don’t drop the coin, you don’t get to drop the kids off at the pool. I learnt pretty quickly to always carry coin, but my first experience of this was when I pleaded with the toilet-captain to let me in, then threated to burst in front of him, to which he just unapologetically shrugged and told me to go away.

Thank goodness there were some modern toilets that were cashless, with a subway-gate style system of card/phone tap to open the boom gates to the Porcelain Paradise.

Mastering the Logistics

So I realised fairly quickly we were going to need to be more conscious of waste management during our travels. Always carry coins. Go easy on drinks like coffee and beer. And water. Manage the fine line between dehydration and constantly searching for toilets. Did I say carry coins? And like a little kid, always taking a pre-emptive toilet break whenever we’d patronised a café or eatery where the toilets were there and free, included in the cover charge along with the bread, olive oil and balsamic. Sometimes we’d even stop and buy something at a café just to use the toilet.

Traveller’s Tip: Make Waste Management part of your Travel Plans

So a word of advice travellers, make toilet management part of your travel plans; plan ahead, go easy on the diuretics, carry coins, include toilet fees in your travel budget and go to the loo for free at every café, restaurant, bar or hotel you visit.

Mr Wanderer
July 2025